Passionate About Pittsburgh
and the Moms Who Live Here

Dating Your Husband After Having Kids

My husband with our two daughters.

My husband with our two daughters.

Let’s face it, life gets pretty busy after having kids. We tend to get so immersed in their care that we tend to lose sight of the two people that created them. If it was not for our love and dedication to each other, we would not be raising our children and going through the trenches together. In order to take good care of our kids, we have to take care of each other first! I remember our priest telling us that we have to put each other first above our kids when we got married. At first I thought he was crazy, but now it makes total sense to me.

When my husband and I don’t take the time to date each other, we can see a difference in our relationship. We get stressed out more easily, we argue more often, and we communicate less. Once we make the effort to put each other first, our relationship definitely benefits. We grow closer together and work better as a team, remembering that without each other we could not do this!

Here are some reasons that dating each other helps strengthen our marriage:

  • When I know there is a date coming up soon, I get excited. It seriously puts a pep in my step and I don’t let the usual daily stress bother me. Knowing that I will get alone time with my hubby makes things better because I know that I can go to him with anything and he is my number one fan.
  • We get to enjoy a nice meal in peace, without two tiny terrors interrupting every 2 seconds. No one needs a new fork because God forbid one food touched another. No one needs a diaper change because blow outs are expertly scheduled for the exact moment the food touches your mouth.
  • We can have an adult based conversation. We don’t have to pretend to be some super hero, or sing Old McDonald had a farm for the umpteenth time. We can actually discuss our plans, goals, and trip itinerary for when we plan our grand escape from parenthood.
  • We can dress up nice for each other! We do not have to eat dinner in spit up covered clothes looking frazzled after managing to get dinner on the table. Making the effort to look nice for each other usually leads into my next reason.
Date night at a nice restaurant.

Date night at a nice restaurant.

  • We are more intimate. Once we reconnect and get to just focus on each other we become more intimate, and who doesn’t like that!

We love our kids, but we have to remember that our kids are not the only thing that define us. We can’t let being a parent be our only title. We are husbands, wives, friends, brothers/sisters, etc. Some of us are career driven and have goals and dreams. It is easy to lose yourself in the role of being just a parent if you don’t remember everything else that you are. Staying strong as a team is so very important.

Keep dating each other and keep falling in love all over again, you will be setting a great example for your kids!

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