Our four year old still sleeps in our bed
Our oldest daughter used to sleep in her crib like a good girl, all the way up until she was 10 months old. That is when she got sick for the first time with a double ear infection and bronchitis which meant we had to give her breathing treatments. She had a hard time breathing due to being so congested, and it left me terrified to leave her alone in her crib. Granted, she had an Angel care monitor and a video monitor, but it still wasn’t enough to make me feel comfortable leaving her alone. So my husband and I moved her to our bed “just for a couple of nights” until she started to feel better. Now four and a half years later, here we are! She is still in our bed, sigh.
We have tried everything to get her to go back to her room. Here are some examples:
- Having her bed in our room: she still somehow managed to climb in our bed in the middle of the night.
- Letting her cry it out- Just not for us.
- Putting an air mattress in her room and taking turns sleeping in there until we can start easing out way out. It worked for a few weeks then we both got over it and wanted to be back in our bed.
- Buying a king size bed- at least we are all comfortable now!
We actually started to make some good headway before our second daughter arrived. We got very strict with her and let her know that with baby sister coming, she has to sleep in her room. We stood by our word and started taking turns sleeping on the floor next to her (sneaking out when she fell asleep). I was 9 months pregnant which meant that I lasted about 20 minutes before I tagged hubby to come in and take his shift on the floor. It ended up that it was my husband putting her to bed every night because I was just too uncomfortable without my huge pregnancy pillow to cuddle with in my king sized bed.
We were doing really well and she actually was sleeping in her own bed! But she still woke up a few times a night crying for mommy and daddy. Our second baby girl arrived soon after. Things were crazy at our household and our oldest felt a little neglected with the baby getting all the attention. She started rebelling and not wanting to sleep in her bed anymore, she wanted mommy to give her just as much attention as the baby was getting in our room. My husband ended up going back on the floor to sleep next to her bed with her. It was nice and all, until he started falling asleep there and leaving me to fend for myself with the baby overnight.
The whole thing became overwhelming. She found her way back to our bed and in the midst of our exhaustion, we didn’t fight it. We just wanted to sleep, and whatever made that happen we were game for.
I am actually ok with it most of the time. If it comforts her to sleep with mommy and daddy for now, so be it. Life is short; I have learned this tough lesson when losing my mom. Eventually she will sleep in her room; I doubt she will be in college and still in our bed! We already know that our second daughter will stay in her room because we have learned our lesson! She luckily prefers to sleep in her crib. I do enjoy the snuggles and we don’t ever feel claustrophobic (king size bed comes in handy here). It doesn’t affect our love life because honestly, it makes us become creative and spices things up. For now, I will enjoy the cuddles and closeness, because one day she won’t be my little girl anymore that likes to snuggle with mommy. We will get there, just not tonight.