A Letter to My First Born: Bringing Home a New Baby

Hi baby girl, I am watching you play as I sit here writing this letter to you.

most awesome sister

Three months ago we welcomed your baby sister into our life and your whole little world changed. I know things are different now and a little more hectic than what you are used to. We are all adjusting to this new normal but my main concern is that you know how much you are loved throughout it all. You are 4 years old now and the sweetest little girl I know. You were the first to make me a mommy and you taught me what unconditional love truly is.  Mommy and daddy worked hard to make sure you had anything and everything that you needed in order to be happy. You taught me about patience, nurturing, love, healing, and forgiveness. Watching you grow into the sweet, sassy, hilarious, and assertive little girl that you are today has been the biggest blessing in my life. It was always about you, and only you. Everyone said we spoiled you, and I wouldn’t have it any other way because you loved having mommy and daddy all to yourself!

When we told you that we were expecting another baby you were so excited, especially when you found out you were getting a little sister. A new playmate, best friend, and partner in crime was on her way and you could not wait to meet her.  You talked to her every day in my belly, felt her kicks, and told her how much you loved her. The day finally arrived when your sister was born, and I will never forget the look of awe and happiness in your face when you got to hold her for the first time.

But I worried about you. I wanted so bad to make sure that while everything else around you was changing, that you knew you were still my baby girl. When you went home from visiting us at the hospital I cried, I didn’t want you to feel left out while mommy stayed behind to care for your sister. I knew you were in great hands but it made me sad to not be there to give you a bath, read you a bed time story, and kiss you goodnight. I quickly realized I couldn’t be in two places at once as mucsofia liv hospitalh as I wanted to. When we got home from the hospital it quickly became apparent to you how much of my time your baby sister needed. I know how bad you wanted my attention every time I had to hold her. I know how bad you wanted me to sit and build a puzzle with you instead of changing her diaper. Every time I nursed her you would ask me why she had to eat again, didn’t I just feed her? I know you wanted me to hold you instead. I feel like I spent so much time asking you to lower your voice when you were so excited to tell me about your adventures because the baby was sleeping. I know I rushed you often as you told me exciting stories because I had to get to the crying baby.  I saw you looking at me wanting me all to yourself while it seemed like all my attention went to your sister. It broke my heart when I could not clone myself so that I can be there every time you needed me as well.

 

I noticed when you started to act out due to the lack of attention from me. You started to just want daddy all the time as well. You didn’t want me to read you any more stories, or give you a bath, or tuck you in at night. It hurt me so bad that you were rejecting me when you saw how much of myself I had to give to your new sister.  But now 3 months later things are finally starting to settle down. You are getting used to our new routine and always talk about how great it is having a little sister! You understand that she needs mommy all the time because she is just so little and not the big independent girl that you are. You are showing such great patience by waiting until she is settled before I can give you my undivided attention. I see how you have been sneaking into our bed at night lately to hold my hand, while I pretend not to notice and hold you close. Because I know that having mommy to yourself is what you need at that moment. I am OK with not being strict about you staying in your bed during
this time of change, anything to soothe you my baby girl.

As your little sister is growing, I can already see the bond that the two of you have. I see the love you have for her in all the hugs and kisses you shower her with. I love how she gets the biggest smile on her face whensofia and liv smiling you talk to her. I love how she kicks her little feet and shakes her hands with excitement when you read her a story. The two of you will grow up to share an unbreakable bond, and to be there for each other even when mommy and daddy can’t be. You will have a best friend for life, someone to tell your special secrets to and someone who will always look up to you. The two of you will have so many fun adventures! Our family is finally complete and mommy and daddy are so blessed to raise two beautiful sisters.

 

I want you to always remember that even though things have changed, you will always be my baby girl.

Love,

Mommy

 

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Anny Bezilla
Anny is a mommy to two beautiful girls. Sofia is 7 and Olivia is 3 years old. Anny was born in the Dominican Republic and moved to New Jersey with her family when she was 5. She is bilingual and is fluent in Spanish. She has been a Jersey girl most of her life until six years ago when she moved with her husband to Pittsburgh, where he’s originally from. Anny has a career in Recruiting/Human Resources and is currently working as a Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist. Anny strives to find a good work life balance while having two little ones. Anny loves living in Pittsburgh and exploring the city’s Latin culture. She also loves to write and blogging has always been something she has wanted to do! For good laughs, follow Anny’s funny FB page at hotmessmomanny and on Instagram at hotmessmom where she provides comic relief to us moms that are just trying to get through life.