I was at the store the other day when I picked up a Number 3 candle.
I thought to myself, how did this happen?
Then I answered myself (not out loud) with the cliche phrases. Time flies by. They grow up so fast. I blinked and he’s three. With all of these being true, I still couldn’t wrap my head around you turning three.
In three years we’ve had countless sleepless nights paired with endless anxiety. We’ve been to numerous doctors visits, one emergency room trip and made lots of on-call doctor phone calls. We second guess ourselves constantly and always wonder if we are doing the right thing.
I remember that Thursday morning when the doctor held you up so we could see you. You looked so big and blue. You didn’t cry right away, but the nurses assured me that you were doing great. They weighed you in at 6lbs 13oz and I said “that’s it!” When you finally cried, it was the most beautiful thing. In that exact moment, I became your mother.
After you were cleaned up, the nurse placed you in Daddy’s arms. It was so surreal. It was at that moment we named you.
What seemed like forever, I finally got to hold you. Nothing prepares you for that first moment you get to hold your baby. I was in awe of you and couldn’t wait to show you off to everyone.
At home, I cried because you weren’t sleeping. I was in pain and exhausted. I looked at Daddy and asked why was this so hard. You were supposed to be the quietest baby in the nursery! I cannot express the anxiety I felt that first night home. Sleep deprived, we cut the bumpers off of your crib and didn’t even let you sleep in there.
The next day, Daddy ran to the store for formula. turns out breastfeeding was not easy.
I remember the last day of my maternity leave and I snuggled you extra close. When I left for work the next day I cried not wanting to miss any of your firsts.
Turns out, you didn’t let me miss any of them (yet). From the first time you crawled on vacation to your first steps on a Tuesday in October during a Penguins home game.
Mama was your first word and you for sure were not going to let me miss that one.
I remember when Daddy thought it would be funny to set you on the floor while I was running the sweeper in the other room. I went to check on you and thought you rolled off the bed. Instant tears! Daddy still gets yelled at for this one. But, it is a great story and we laugh about it every time!
I try to hold onto little moments just as much as the big ones. Because one day, I am going to miss this.
Time. Slow. Down.
There will be many more firsts and undoubtedly some lasts. We can wait for the new memories we are about to embark on. For now, we just want to enjoy you turning three.
Love Mommy and Daddy.