Passionate About Pittsburgh
and the Moms Who Live Here

How-To Find a Mommy Friend

“Almost thirty-something mom who likes to peruse Facebook when not playing with play dough. Looking for friends who have two little ones and can sympathize over a cup of coffee or a big glass of wine. Enjoys chit chat about movies and music, well mostly ones that came out prior to having children. Potty training experience desired. “

            Feeling alone? Feeling tired? Wanting someone to talk with that understands what it is like to talk to toddlers all day long and shout “what did you put in your mouth” on repeat? I feel ya!

            It can be hard to find mommy friends that just get you.  Finding someone who you can talk to without feeling like your pushing conversation too hard is not easy. Also, it is desired to find someone who is close enough that you can visit frequently and also have play dates with. There are lots of criteria when finding a mommy friend or group.

            Luckily, I found my mommy friends through my connections with other friends. I even ended up moving to the same block as one of my mommy friends and it has been a blessing.

However, I know what it’s like to feel alone. It is hard when you are a stay at home mom with two little ones. It feels like you can never go out due to naps, bad temper tantrums, not wanting to fuss with strollers or buggies, and the inevitable just feeling too exhausted! It is hard when you’ve been up all night trying to keep your sanity as you cradle a teething baby in your arms. You barely get a shower and after taking care of the kids and barely taking care of yourself, you still have the household work to finish and clothes that have been washed but sitting in hampers in your living room for the past week waiting to be folded.

            But not having anyone to talk to throughout the day other than your kids can drive you insane. You want to work your brain and talk about important things, intellectual conversations, discussing tv, movies, hell, even the weather… anything other than singing “If you’re happy and you know it” for the 20th time today. So what do you do? Where do you find an understanding and sympathetic person who is probably in the same boat as you?

Here are some ways that may help you find that mommy friend:

  • Reach out to your family and see if they know anyone of their friends that would be interested in setting up a play date.
  • Look for mommy groups in your area, like MOPS or other church women’s groups. Sometimes these are posted online or in your local newspaper.
  • Look for kid-friendly events in your area; maybe a local library is hosting a reading hour?
  • Check out the website Meetup. There you can find people like you to set up a meeting. Or you can even check out groups in your neighborhood via NextDoor.
  • There is always Facebook, where you can search for mommy groups or events hosted for moms in your area.

What do you do once you find a mommy friend or group?

  • Be open and be laid back, don’t stress that you need to impress. You will make friends being you!
  • Food, food, food!! Food is always a good thing to offer to bring or go somewhere where there is food. Moms like food, especially something they don’t have to prepare. Bring a box of donuts and some coffee and you will be golden!
  • Don’t be afraid to open up and share how you are feeling. Once one person gets the conversation going it can feel great to relieve those mommy insecurities or share achievements.
  • Plan meet-ups with your new friends without the kids! Have a chance to talk and laugh without having to worry about little ones trying to talk or take your attention away. 

It is important to have mommy friends and people in your life that make you relax. Having mommy friends can be a place where you can compare mommy horror stories. Getting the chance to see that you are not alone in your frustrations, worries, and insecurities when it comes to being a mom can be a relief.

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