In many cases, life for a lot of moms is normal, happy, and crazy. They can be #thankful, #blessed, and go into 2018 handling life, work, kids, and make those resolutions to lose weight, spend more time with family, make more boards on Pinterest, even drink more wine.
Some moms are going into 2018 just wondering how to cope. This blog is for you.
Sometimes, it’s best to go into a new year not making resolutions. Maybe it’s better to just hit the RESET, or even the STOP button.
For me, the end of 2017 hit me hard. I had put off the grieving and dealing with illness and family/friend loss of the previous two years. I didn’t have the ability to deal with it at the time because I was getting wheeled into a hospital room or trying to get my kids through the changes and just trying make things as “normal” for them as possible. My illness continues to this day, as I deal with chronic pain. The hospital visits have lessened, but I am able to get back into a normal routine here and there with fewer trips to the hospital and emergency room. So now those delayed feelings are hitting and hitting hard. Plus, after going through what I did, I’m a new person now, and I don’t really know who that person is. That person now has to raise three kids, including one with special needs who just lost his beloved service dog, try to figure out her purpose in life all over again, how to make money and support her family, and be a wife to a husband who also decided to make a major change by getting gastric bypass surgery.
By the end of the year I was frozen mentally. I was overwhelmed. I didn’t want to work. I didn’t want to get off the couch. I didn’t want to make dinner. I didn’t even want to feed the dog.
So instead of making resolutions for 2018, I decided to hit the STOP button.
In this situation, you need to take stock of the situation and take care of you. Remember, you are no good to your children or anyone else if you are not in good condition.
If you suspect your feelings are symptoms of anxiety, depression, or any other mental illness, this is the time to seek help. Please call your family doctor, your insurance carrier, etc. for a reference.
Find something, even if it’s small, that brings you joy. I have loved just blasting music and singing along ever since I was a little kid. I am finding my phone and headphones and doing that more often.
(Photo by Victor Freitas from Pexels)
Whatever you find yourself doing in a rut, try to stop it. My habit is sitting on the couch with the laptop or my phone. I am telling my kids and husband this year to drag me off and make me do something. I will try to do it myself more as well.
Make a list of goals. Keep it small. Don’t overwhelm yourself. At first let it say things like “stay off your phone” or “play with your kids more.” You can add bigger goals as you feel better. Although I would really love to add “finish writing that book” and become an awesome public speaker “ sooner rather than later.
Lastly, build up a tribe. I know the way you feel now, you feel alone and that no one cares, but there really are people who do. A relative, a friend who always likes your stuff on Facebook, a mom who is always around. Reach out and make them your person. If anything, message me here, I’m happy to respond.
Some people want 2018 to be the year of their best me, or their thinner me, or their richest me. Some moms need 2018 to be the year to stop, reset, and just be the year they get their me back.