When a SAHM is home alone.

This week is kind of a big deal. All 4 of my offspring are officially enrolled in school at the same time. That equals up to 20 lunches a week, 4 sets of goofy school photos that I’ll never pass out (why would anyone want a wallet size pic of my kids? Just go on Facebook, I post like 17 a day of my youngest alone!), filling out the same dang information cards for the 23rd, 24th, 25th and 26th times and countless arguments about lost homework and shoes. Woohoo! Let the fun begin!

When I say fun I mean it. You guys, I’m going to have seven whole hours to myself every day! Mama has plans for this most precious time. Big plans.

First of all, coffee. Whether I make it myself or meet friends for some conversation, coffee is a must have. I’m also going to make myself something to eat without a small person asking for a bite even though their own plate sits untouched in front of them. I think a toasted English muffin with goat cheese and real (not the dollar store crap) strawberry jam sounds good. Or maybe I’ll order myself some fancy gourmet stuff made with unicorn tears and tied in a silk ribbon.

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Then in the interest of health I’ll take a nice long walk. No one will be lagging behind me asking if we can stop for fro-yo. This will happen in that small window of late summer/early fall that we get. When it’s not 85* and muggy but not yet 47* and pouring. When that isn’t doable I’ll just plop myself down and binge-watch Stranger Things on Netflix (again). All the while indulging in a creamy Sarris chocolate bar. I will savor it too because there will be no need to scarf it down before anyone realizes that I’m not sharing.

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At this point it’s quite likely that I’m wearing yoga pants and not doing yoga. I’m also going sans bra. Maybe I should change? First though I’ll pamper myself a little with a Korean facial mask. The kind that makes me look like Leather Face.  I think I’ll get a bath too. We have a pretty big house that was built in 1902. Which means we also only have one bathroom-for 6 people. So the odds of someone wanting to stink the room up while I’m trying to relax in my fancy bath salts (these smell like heaven!) are a given. So during my glorious alone time I will put on my blue tooth speaker and blast any music my kids just don’t appreciate. My windows are open now that I’m not yelling all day. Hope the new neighbors like Band of Horses or really old Metallica!

Makeup today? Maybe,maybe not. But I don’t want to be stanky so I put on some Bronner’s Patchouli lime lotion and spritz on some Demeter cardamom. Good, now I smell like a fall candle.

Lunch time. This can go either way. A bag of chips and the rest of that candy bar or a salad that rivals something out of Panera. I might attempt to read a book too but most likely I’ll just spend too much time on Facebook or Instagram. I might just call my mom as she’s the only person I will talk to on the phone. I ask her once again why she didn’t tell me that I’m crazy for having 4 kids like her. (Yes, my mom is super-woman and I want to be like her when I grow up.) She’ll remind me that she did tell me and that I didn’t listen. I just knew I liked growing up in a bigger family and wanted the same for my kids.

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My kids. My kids who are in school. Learning and socializing. Entrusted in the care of others. I start to miss them. I’m excited for them to be home soon. I want to hear about their days. (Oh, how I love to hear all the high school drama…). So I head up to get my little ones. Refreshed and ready to be in full on mom mode!

By the way I do have a few disclaimers here. Before you roll your eyes at my lady-of-luxury lifestyle portrayed here take note that there will never be enough time in the day to do all of these things. I’ll be doing tons of other things during the day happily uninterrupted too like loading crusty dishes from the night before into the dishwasher, scrubbing our one, oft used toilet, laundry, starting dinner and all the other other thankless, mundane tasks that good moms do.

When I shared part of my plans with some moms who are still home with little ones I sensed some disdain on their parts. I get it. I’ve been on all sides of the fence. I’ve been doing the whole mom thing for almost 17 years. I’ve done the 9-5 only to have to pick up my 1 and 3 year old from daycare and still do mom stuff when I got home. I’ve stayed home all day with a newborn and a preschool age child while juggling the schedules of 2 elementary schoolers as well. I’ve wiped butts for years and listened to Caillou whine along with my own kids. Poured bowl after bowl of cereal only to either throw most of it away or find pieces under the couch.

This is my time. I’ve earned it and I’m not the least bit guilty for being excited about it.

Oh and another thing. I’m not endorsing products mentioned in this post. They are merely small things in life that I like to use to treat myself as all good moms should now and then.