In my previous post I talked about how to do it all. Even though I have incorporated some really good help into our family and routine, I feel like since day one of having my daughter I have been failing at being the best mom I can be. Ever since I can remember I have tried my best and succeeded. Straight A’s in school, projects done early, having the most thoughtful gifts for all occasions, planning the meetups with friends and making sure we stayed in touch, I did it all and I was pretty fantastic. Then I became a mom and felt like everything I did was a C+ on a good day.
I used to be the person that LOVED having control of schedule, knowing what is happening and what’s next. So naturally as a first time mom, when I was pregnant I started reading all of the sleep training books and researching everything on how to develop a healthy schedule for you and the baby. Oh how I wish I could go back and tell myself….you’re cute with your books and optimism, but she’s a baby and you’re the mom once she arrives life is going to change drastically. No matter how hard you try, this is a free for all. The first few months you are in full on survival mode. Basically, this is her world and you’re just living in it.
Fast forward to my life now, 11 months old and today we decided not to take any naps…YAY! So at some point between cup of coffee #5 and #6 I took a moment to reflect. I have learned SO MUCH in this past year of being a mom. The biggest lesson is that my title is really chaos coordinator. Life isn’t perfect and you shouldn’t expect yourself to be either! Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook they are all full of filters and only show the highlight reels, and somehow we use that as our guide on how to be a “perfect mom”.
You know that “perfect mom” with….
-the magazine worthy nursery
-the healthy meal prepped foods, trendy work out routine and pre-baby body back instantly
-the successful career and family life
-the baby that naps on time every day and sleeps all night no matter what
-the social calendar balanced with baby socialization classes and activities plus adult only events
-the stronger than ever relationship with her husband,with atleast 1 date night a week
-the spotless home
-homemade dinners just in time for her husbands arrival
The mom who is just doing it all fantastically without any help.
Well I’m not her. I’m not perfect in any aspect of my life. Especially not as a mom and guess what? I don’t want to be!! It took me 11 months to truly stop the struggle, the stress and the tears. I finally took the pressure off myself for doing it all.
-a day spent playing on the floor with toys everywhere, plus laundry and dishes piling up is better than a clean house every second of the day
-cuddles during naptime is better than putting her in her crib to nap and getting my to-do list done
-walks as a family are better than my rushed solo gym sessions
-to focus my time and energy on friendships and family and be present when I am with them
-to take a moment for me
-it was a necessity to make date night a priority, even if that meant a creative night in
-to let my hubby be the amazing cook he is and take over dinners
-that swim classes, story time and mommy & me classes are great but stressing to be there isn’t necessary
-that being in the top 2% of my company and having a happy family is my own definition of successful
-a cute one piece over a few extra pounds is perfect for this summer
-my old office turned into little nursery is my favorite room in our house
I encourage you to be the best mom you can be. Don’t let anyone else determine your success as a mother or quality of your choices. Stop the mom shaming, the judgements for not being “perfect” and just let us live! Flexibility is key and most importantly enjoy YOUR journey.