Dear Me, Six Years Ago

Ronin and Me

My oldest turned 6 a few weeks ago, and as I reflected on all the joys, triumphs, exhaustions and fails I’ve endured over the past years as a mother, I thought it would be appropriate to write myself a letter when my son was first born….so here goes.

 

Dear Priya (in 2010),

You’re a mommy!!!  Words can’t even express what you’re feeling right now, but in a nutshell, I’m guessing you’re feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, panicked and excited all at the same time, right?!  Don’t worry, this is all normal, and you’ll feel that way for many days, weeks, months and years to come.  But I wanted to give you a little bit of advice from I’ve learned over the past 6 years of being a mommy (and becoming a mommy again) –

  • Your Confidence will Ebb and Flow: There are going to be days where you get everything right – you know EXACTLY why baby is crying, you are able to take a shower AND go to the bathroom uninterrupted – and on those days, you’re going to feel on top of the world.  You’re going to feel like super mom and that everything is coming up Priya.  Hold onto those moments, because there are also going to be those days where everything goes wrong – the baby is up all night throwing up, you can’t remember the last time you wore clean clothes, you can’t for the life of you figure out why the baby is crying – and your confidence is shattered.  But it’s ok, as a mom you’re going to spend so much time learning, growing and just figuring it out.  At no point will you be the foremost expert on anything because your kids are constantly changing.  But remember that you held that baby inside of you, and you do the best you can every day for your baby – that’s something to be super proud of.
  • You May NEVER Feel the Same Again: Your body, your hormones, your emotions have all been through the ringer, and yes you’re going to change as a person, but that’s OK.  I’m not going to lie, you’re going to look back at your single and pre-kid life in longing (sleeping in until 11am, going out to eat whenever you want, staying up late hanging out with friends) but you’re also going to look down at the little person who has your eyes and your husband’s smile, and it’ll remind you that you’re in a new phase of life – one filled with all kinds of other fun things that you’ll look back with in longing once they’re gone too.
  • You CAN Do This: You may be sitting in the hospital bed in a gown thinking “how the hell am I going to do this?!”  I know it’s overwhelming to think that once you leave the hospital, you’re on your own, but I’ve got some news for you sweetie – you’ve got this.  And here’s a little secret – your baby is figuring it out right along with you.  He’s learning how to suckle just like you’re learning how to breastfeed him properly.  He’s learning how to sleep outside of your comfy womb and you’re learning how to function on 2 hours of sleep.  Together, you’re figuring it out, and together, you’ll get through it.

In a few years, you’ll look back at the pictures and videos you took of when your baby was first born and be amazed at the fact that he was once that small!  And you’ll look down at your body and be in awe that a person fit inside of you at one point!  One day, you’ll lay down with your son and tell him the story of the day he was born, and it’ll feel like it was just yesterday…

XOXO,

Priya (in 2016)

Priya is the owner of ROKI, a network dedicated to connecting and empowering professional moms.  You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest when she is not playing with her two boys in the backyard.  ROKI is derived from her boy’s names – Ronin and Kirin.

Previous articleIt’s Our Anniversary
Next articleKids: No Age Difference When It Comes to Summer
Priya Amin
Priya Amin is a mom of two rambunctious boys, and is a serial entrepreneur. Her latest project is Flexable, a tech company helping parents and caregivers connect better, by allowing caregivers to intelligently "advertise" their availability. In the past, Priya worked in Corporate America for companies such as IBM and Nestle, before leaving to be a stay at home mom. She launched a successful consulting business called ROKI (named after her boys Ronin and Kirin) prior to launching Flexable, and enjoys the chaos of motherhood x work.