Lets talk about life and the Facebook Challenge dear husband, its ok if you don’t post pictures of me for 7 days, lets face it I post a #sweatyselfie pretty much everyday, in honor of our life together, Can I just get a Hi-five? In the hallway ? and maybe some wine??? yes, definitely some wine, and an IPA for you?
~ credit for this phrase goes out to my BFF for life who lets me use it on the condition of her anonymity, please no accusations of plagiarism here.~
Back to the Hi-Five
Please? ….. Maybe just a low five as we pass each other on the way out the door… you know in celebration of our life together on that special day.
That special day-
You know the one where I wore white and he wore black and the look on his face that I will never, ever forget and then we left on our honeymoon thinking we would celebrate this day forever with some fabulous romantic week long or at least weekend getaway every year to remember why we chose to be each other’s lobsters (90’s sitcom reference) and come back ready to embrace another year of life together???? You know the one that looks something like this?
Every year I make a plan, we will take this long romantic weekend, drink champagne have a couples massage, take a moonlit stroll feed each other strawberries ( I added that just for some puke factor in case the teenager decides to read this – does anyone actually do that outside of the movies? ) Generally we squeeze in the unplanned no reservation dinner and just enjoy the quiet of each others company. This year our life may look more like this :
This is an illustration of how we feel in the evenings when all three kids are either A) trying to talk to us at the same time – or B) all have friends over …
PS… any young couples out there thinking of getting hitched and having kids – an August wedding was amazing we had gorgeous weather and I loved every minute of it, however once those imaginary kids start school having an anniversary celebration the week before school starts is almost as impossible as walking into a park these days and not being run over by some teenagers playing Pokemon go.
Maybe I’m just insanely practical, or just don’t like to be fussed over, but darling if your reading this – please do not get me the Modern anniversary gift for year 18 – which I just read is something made of feathers, yes ladies feathers, and we all know what direction that gift would take.
Or…. maybe we will just high five in the hallway, the morning of year 18 after one too many cocktails the night before ( and one too many is such a different thing then it was 18 yrs ago, right? ) with our graying or maybe, ummm… missing hair, slightly more sun kissed skin ( interpret wrinkled and haggard) knees that crack going down the stairs after a wicked awesome wiffle ball game between parents and kids, and that game happened 5 days ago.
Really though, a hi-five is so freaking important! During sporting events when an amazing play is made the athlete runs off the field to a sea of teammates ready to celebrate. Why can’t we do that in marriage and family life. I mean even the competitors gave Michael Phelps a bro hug in the pool after he kicked their @$$e$ and won medal number 1,999. In the scope of marriage and 18 years, can you imagine if when we actually decide together on a place to eat or something to do on a lazy Saturday afternoon if we jumped up and did a Hi-Five or chest bump each other how much more energy we would bring to our own lives?
Instead we get things like the love your spouse challenge, And here is the thing, I really do love my spouse, he’s amazing in so many ways, mostly because he puts up with me. I honestly do not want “do this life” with anyone else, as this new cliche that keeps popping up goes. Can I be honest though for a minute? Not like highlight reel life Facebook honest but really freaking Real Life honest? Sometimes its messy, and I know shocking, some days we fight, and other than our own wedding pictures, or pictures of us at other weddings most of our pictures look something like this…
Yes we are smiling the kids are laughing, this is because had I continued to try and get the perfect family photo everyone including the grown ups was about to cry so we opted for this.
After 18 yrs and 3 kids it’s not all pretty, waiting up for the driving dating teenager, while thinking about every horrible episode of criminal minds or law and order svu that I now completely regret ever watching thanks to my overactive imagination, making sure our son is practicing his reading everyday, crying over the baby heading to kindergarten, work schedules and business plans.
The reality is , we don’t need a love your spouse for 7 days challenge. The entire idea of marriage is a love your spouse challenge, right? Or maybe just maybe I’m hopeful that he knows I love him. That I tell him enough, lift him up around others enough, and maybe even show him enough even if it is just a hi- five in the hallway!