Dance. Soccer. Gymnastics. Girl Scouts. Boy Scouts. Football. Art. Karate. Voice lessons. Swim lessons. Piano lessons. Tennis lessons.
Extracurricular activities have become a hallmark of childhood, and many parents feel that their children must be exposed to as many different activities as possible as a way to build character. Two, four or more days a week, parents are shuttling their kids from one activity to another, eating on the run, getting home late, exhausted. Annoyed. Grumpy. Sound familiar?
As the mom of an active six-year-old girl, I get it. Her father and I struggle with how to balance her interests with good-old-fashioned downtime. She loves to sing and dance, so she’s enrolled in musical theater classes periodically throughout the year. As for sports, she loves shooting hoops, so she’s played with a low-key basketball program for the past two years. She loves swimming, but found out that our local aqua club “encourages” daily after-school practice, so, that’s a big “no” for now. We’re also investigating the possibility of joining Girl Scouts when the school year begins anew. In my opinion, one or two activities per school year is more than enough, and aside from a week of camp, we skipped enrolling in any formal activities this summer.
While there’s no doubt that enrichment activities are beneficial to kids, how do we parents know when enough is enough? When does “well-rounded” begin to eclipse “well-adjusted”? When does “enrichment” begin to clash with “overscheduled,” especially when parents are trying to juggle their own lives around their kids’ activities?
Plenty of research exists on this topic, of course. Multiple experts lament the rise of the overscheduled child, pointing to the fact that many children no longer know how to just be…bored. Creative, imaginative play has lost its luster, they say, much to the detriment of kids’ well being.
Still, downtime is critically important to child development; in fact, the younger the child, the more essential unstructured play is. Highly scheduled children have less time for family bonding and for exploring the world around them, which can lead to an increase in anxiety, stress and even depression, according to an article published in Pediatrics by Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg.
“Even children who are benefiting from this enrichment still need some free unscheduled time for creative growth, self-reflection, and decompression and would profit from the unique developmental benefits of child-driven play,” writes Dr. Ginsburg. “The challenge for society, schools, and parents is to strike the balance that allows all children to reach their potential without pushing them beyond their personal comfort limits and while allowing them personal free playtime.”
So what’s a mom who wants her children to go to Harvard to do? As with anything else in life, balance is key. Enrichment activities are great, as long as your children enjoy them. If they’re falling behind academically or whining every time you drop them off or pick them up–or if the Chick-fil-A drive-through crew now knows you by name– it may be time to back off a little. The most important activity any child can engage in, after all, is spending quality time together with family.
photo credit: working on my service… via photopin (license)
