Okay so does any other Stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) feel like they are a mom, a wife, a laundress, a cook, a chauffeur, a dog walker, a maid, a business owner, a nurse, a hairdresser, a personal stylist, a daughter, a sister, an employee, a shopper, a personal assistant, a secretary…. did I get them all? Probably not. My point is as mommas we do it all! However, there is no way in the world we can do it all and do it all well. Plus have a smile on our face the entire time. Oh and also having time to do the things we love, spend time with our families, relax and have our own mommy time fun!
I have always had the mentality of I can do it. I can handle it. No, I don’t need help. Thank you, but I’ve got this. It is easier if I just do it, that way I know it is done and done right. I don’t trust someone else doing it. I’m fine. Anyone been there? MISS INDEPENDENT to a T! It is just my job as a mom, my responsibility and I’m going to do it.
Now I have an amazing career with so much flexibility. I also have my loving family that helps out with my daughter when I need them. Plus an incredible husband, who is seriously the best. He offers to help and helps with EVERYTHING in our house. They all offer to help, however I feel guilty when I am not “THAT MOM” who has it all together. I feel like I am failing as a mom when I have to ask for help.
Especially because I am a business owner and work from home. So “being” home all day my EXPECTATION is that I should have it all together. The house should be spotless. My daughter playing happily in a matching outfit. I am put together. Meaning I took an actual shower, didn’t use dry shampoo and have clothes on other than leggings. My business is organized and thriving. Dinner is homemade, hot and ready for when my hardworking husband gets home from work. Now here is the REALITY. The house is a toy explosion, I’m not even sure how toys got in some places. My daughter is in a onesie covered with her foods from the day. I am in leggings with a dry shampoo messy bun (not the cute messy bun, more the Ms. Trunchbull like bun). Dinner is not prepared so I quickly throw in frozen fish sticks and frozen fries with a side of microwave steamed veggies.
Here’s the deal mommas. We CAN do it all and do it well. Here’s the secret, we need to ask for help. They don’t say it takes a village for fun. It is the truth! It is okay if you cannot do it all. Accept it, receive it and fix it!!!! We are SUPERMOMS regardless and the title of mom is not one you just add to the list. You raise your children your entire life, caring for them every single day from the moment they wake till the moment their little heads lay down at night and even then it’s not over because they wake up throughout the night too! Our job is never ending and we don’t get paid money for it. We get paid in hugs and kisses. It is hard being a mom, but it can be easier if you ask for help.
Here are some examples of my help:
-Nanny in my home while I am here to care for my daughter while I work. Nanny also travels with me to some business appointments at my studio so my daughter can be there while I work.
-Grandparents watch her for date nights and my out of town business meetings. They love getting their granddaughter time.
-Cleaning service for my home. Why in the world would I clean…it does not give me joy!
-Personal & Virtual Assistant for my business. They can grow and work my business while I am spending time with my family. They cover the behind the scenes responsibilities and paperwork.
-Hubby cooks our healthy homemade dinners. He also watched my daughter at least once a week so I can have some mommy time. I love my nail appointments and solo shopping trips. (This was the hardest area, because I felt extreme guilt asking him to help on top of working all week at his job for our family. It has been the hardest but the best choice to help our relationship grow and our family function.)
So mommas, I am telling you it is okay to have help!!! So don’t be afraid to ask for it or accept it. I promise it will make a huge difference in your day to day life. You will feel a huge weight of responsibilities lifted off of you. The one thing that is SO valuable in our lives is time. You cannot get more time, however getting help allows you to free up more time so you can do the things you enjoy.