It will eat you alive! Becoming a mother-of-two

the blob movie poster

When I was pregnant with our second son I did a visualization exercise with my doula about what it would feel like to be a mom to now two kids.  How would I feel being stretched and challenged in that new role?  What would I need to fully become to step into that role?

The answer? A giant green amorphous blob.

mother of two blob
A portrait of the mother as a mom of two.

Yep, you read that right.  My subconscious equated motherhood to The Blob.  But really it makes sense when you think about it, er, get past the gross blob part.  As a new mother to two boys I had to be flexible, able to mold myself and my body to any situation, and basically have seventeen hands all at once.

I’ve always prided myself on being flexible in most situations, which matches well with my unfailing optimism, but my new role as mother-of-two has definitely challenged that flexibility.

One of the hardest parts, especially at the beginning, was having to make constant choices, and also not being able to choose all at the same time.  I remember a number of times the first week after returning home from the hospital hearing my older son upset but having a sleeping newborn on me I could do little to help.  I wished I had those blob qualities I had imagined, but instead I felt stuck and frustrated.

I had primed him for this period by practicing telling him “whisper” stories while we lay in bed together during my last few weeks of pregnancy.  But I just wasn’t fully prepared to suddenly not be 100% there for him.

reading kids
“Blobbing” at two months postpartum.

But then suddenly, after several weeks, I felt myself transforming.  There I was feeding the baby with one arm and getting my older son dressed with the other.  Soon I could cuddle them both on my lap and read to my sons (if the older one turned the pages).  My blob powers were strengthening.  I was becoming my old self again but also there was a part of me, that part of ourselves that is always malleable, that began to grow and change.  To adapt.  It just took a little longer than I thought.

The struggle with becoming a mother, or with a giant shift in our role as a mother, is that we expect to give birth and be fully transformed, yet we are never really done transforming.  

Now the baby is seven months old and I am still developing my blob-like qualities.  I go from soothing a crying baby to playing a boisterous game of trucks, from a game of peek-a-boo to a full blown tantrum.  The more I accept the necessity to mold and mutate, the easier it is to fully embrace my new role.

Maya helps busy moms who are stressed out about dinner time plan meals their whole family will love so they can stop stressing and start enjoying family mealtime again.  Take her quiz to find your meal planning style and get personalized tips and tricks!