Passionate About Pittsburgh
and the Moms Who Live Here

Learning to Say No

I have always heard “the first step is admission” to trying to change a behavior or character trait, so here goes….

I admit I have a hard time saying “no” to other people regardless of the situation. I think it truly is a mix of guilt and an internal power struggle with me.

If I say no, I’m more concerned that I’m letting people down and will end up causing more stress for someone else. As a mom this mindset gets me in trouble because there are days that I’m beyond overwhelmed and tired but I will still agree to be the head of a committee because in my mind if I say no then someone else is going to be overwhelmed with the responsibility and it will feel guilty.

The other reason I always say yes is because I think if I don’t do it myself it won’t get done the way I think it should be. I can remember dealing with this struggle all the way back to college doing group projects. I would always take on a larger chunk of the work because I wanted the project completed the way I thought it should go.

The truth is this past year has been rough for our family. We suffered tragedy and I had to learn to say no. It took me a long time to figure out the world truly would go on spinning even if I said no to something. I never thought of it as such a problem in my life until I realized I was continuing to say yes to things when I was truly overwhelmed myself. The thing I learned is there are times we all need to say no when it comes to helping others and this does not make us a bad person, but in fact it makes you stronger by admitting when you feel overwhelmed. Now don’t get me wrong, I still usually still say yes but I actually think about the request instead of automatically agreeing to something.

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