Three Things to NOT Say to a Special Needs Mom

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As a mom of a medically fragile child, I have been a part of some really awkward conversations. It is part of a woman’s nature to want to talk but there are sometimes that gets us in trouble. Everyone can think of that one friend who has a child who is going through some sort of medical issue. I know you are trying to help but here are three things to not to bring up in conversation with the mother of a medically fragile child:

  1. Is he/she ever going to get better or be able to do A, B, C?

Trust me  a few years ago, I wish I had a crystal ball and could tell you exactly when my son was going to walk, BUT… guess what, that crystal ball doesn’t exist. Every parent wants their child to get better, but unfortunately not every diagnosis has a good prognosis and a parent doesn’t need to be reminded of it. No parent knows the future of their child so please don’t assume that special needs parents have this superpower

  1. Comparing Children’s illness

Please, I know that you are telling me the story of your child’s recent cold to try to find common ground, but honestly I don’t want to hear it.  It is also important to not give me medical advice about my son based on your second cousins neighbors’ daughter who has something “that is almost the same” as what my child is going thru.

  1. Don’t tell me, I’m a SUPER mom?

Ok thank you for the compliments, but we are all super moms! I don’t want to be singled out because of my child’s ailments, because the truth is as moms we all learn to adapt to help our kids. I truly believe that motherhood is the hardest job and we are all super because of it!!

I hope this helps the next time you are having a conversation with “that friend”, you can keep these topics in the back of your mind. The truth is special needs mom just wants to be treated like any other mom!

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Maggie Poole
Maggie Poole is a Texas native that ended up in Pittsburgh after meeting her husband while working in Disney. They became college sweethearts and got married directly after college where they both worked on the road in the oil and gas industry. She is now a mom of three, two boys and a girl and co-owns a personalized children clothing and gifts boutique. Her kiddos keep her extremely busy and states that she lives in a state of blessed chaos. Her journey in motherhood has exposed her to not only pregnancy but she also got to experience the blessing of adopting a true miracle. She is active member of her church and a local philanthropy women’s group that keeps her busy. Her family loves to travel and she’s not afraid to pack up her kids for spare of the moment adventures!