I ran into a situation a few weeks ago and while I don’t want to get into the full story I wish to tell you part of it.
In a discussion with a group of moms it was brought up that being a full-time working mom is easier than being a stay-at-home mom.
As I stood there and listened I really tried to hear what the other mom was saying, but I obviously disagreed. She could see my reaction all over my face even though I was wearing sunglasses.
I know she didn’t mean it the way it came across, but it still lit a fire in me.
Why do moms always assume the other type of mom is easy? Being a mom in general is difficult. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or work inside/outside of the home mom we all wear the same hat. We are all raising children. Yes, I raise my child even though I’m not home most of the time.
I am a full-time work outside of the home mom. My day starts by 5:30am and begins with over an hour commute to the city. I sit at a desk for 7.5 hours answering emails and trying to meet end of month deadlines. Then I start my over an hour commute back home. Depending on the day of the week it’s swimming lessons, baseball games, bath night, you name it. We have to make dinner and clean up somewhere in between. Oh, and let’s make sure my son is in bed by 9:00pm for bedtime. That gives me less than 4 hours to do all of the above.
My home has toys thrown all over the living room floor. The kitchen floor is dirty from dinner time. The laundry is starting to pile up. And by 9:00pm on a weekday night all I want to do is watch mindless television because it does not require me to think.
And this is if the day runs smoothly. I cannot forget to mention if my son is sick and I need to take a vacation day to take him to the doctors and what if my babysitter/school cannot take him because of the germs.
Most days, I am burnt out and lately I’ve barely had time to breath. But every day I get up and live my days on repeat. I am either at work thinking about home or I’m home thinking about work. My day is full of to-do lists and calendar reminders. I have to remember things like doctor appointments, snack days, picture day, items needed for school projects, emails, play dates, deadlines. It is exhausting.
My days constantly run together. I have a calendar in my home office, on my cell phone, and Alexa always reminding me the day before what’s next.
None of it is easy. I don’t even know how some things even get done half the time, but it does.
My house isn’t clean every day. Laundry is usually done on the weekends. Doctors visits are done after 6pm. Most dinners are prepared by my husband who also works full-time outside of the home.
All moms get up and do the same thing every day. Even though my day looks different I am still running a household while taking care of my son.
So please stop with which type of moms have it easier because the answer is none of us do.
Life is chaotic no matter if you have one kid, five kids, stay at home, work part-time, full-time.
I am a mom. A mom who has to work to pay the bills while trying to give my son a better childhood than my own all while taking on the daily responsibilities of life. Every thing gets done eventually, not because I’m super mom, but because it has too.
And please next time you are in a group of moms lets not talk about which type has it easier, who has the most help, and which moms have cleaning ladies because at the end of the day some of us are just moms trying to get through the day.