I’m not quite sure why I had this belief that when I became a parent I would suddenly have it all figured out. Even after nearly 9 years of parenthood, I’m also not sure why it continues to surprise me a bit when I realize I’ve still got a ton to learn and that some of the best lessons come from kids – my own and others. Here is one of my favorite lessons learned regarding money and how to spend it when kids are involved.
Freeze Tag
Pre-kids, when my husband and I were newly married, we volunteered at a place called Auberle with boys who were waiting to be placed in foster care. It was a sort of big brother/big sister program, and together my husband and I would take 4 boys ages 9-12 to do something fun on the weekends.
One outing, we took them to the ‘fancy’ movie theater, got them each some treats, and easily spent well over what was comfortably in the budget for us at the time. But we wanted them to have a good time.
After that outing, however, the boys weren’t particularly happier. They were polite with their “thank yous,” but we left them that day wondering why it didn’t feel as fulfilling as we had hoped.
The next visit we had with them, we weren’t able to go off grounds and take them anywhere. The staff at Auberle suggested we try going to the gym on grounds instead. The gym left a lot to be desired, to say the least. It was functional, but definitely outdated and a far cry from the ‘fancy’ movie theater we had taken them to the week before.
But it didn’t take long for a game of full-court freeze tag got underway.
There we were, the 4 boys, my husband and me, running around like crazy, trying to tag or escape being tagged. We had the best time. In those moments, it truly felt like time had stopped. We saw genuine smiles like we hadn’t seen before. From the boys. From us.
Lessons Learned
This was what they really wanted. Not a fancy movie, but a chance to be with us and with each other, simply running around like boys do.
When the “outing” was over this time, my husband and I felt fulfilled. And we believe the boys felt it too.
The cost? Free.
